Clean Slate Dying to Live Robert Dommer 9781432746391 Books

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Red Pop. That's what they called it. Anyone who has or had leukemia knows the name well. It's the three day induction treatment given at the first round of chemotherapy along with ARA-C, to jump start the chemo. It looks harmless enough but, I've got a few nick names of my own for it!

It was January 2nd 1984. God, how did I get here? As I lay there in my hospital bed, nurses were busy getting me ready for my first induction treatment.

As the needle found its vein, my mind drifted back to the moment when I came face to face with my mortality. Five days ago...December 28th 1983, the events of that day would be the beginning of a physical, mental, and spiritual fight that I certainly was not ready for. It didn't matter what I thought or wanted. My life and future was out of my hands.

"So Doc, when can I get back home? My family is waiting and we're planning our Florida vacation." Why all of the long faces? I looked around the room, studying everyone for some kind of insight into what was going on. My Family Doc was there, and a couple of nurses with blank stares. Was I missing something here?

Like a skip in the record, all I could remember, five little words, echoing in my head- "Mr. Dommer, you have Leukemia."

Suddenly, the blood rushed to my ears drowning out any of his words or thoughts of my own. My mouth went dry in an instant making any reaction I had completely inaudible. The shock and fear gripped my chest so tightly I thought my heart would explode. I couldn't think, or talk, the only reasonable thought I had was to run, but where?

"Mr. Dommer, Mr. Dommer did you hear me? We need to begin treatment as soon as possible. Can you be here January 2nd to start?". Oh shit! Dr. Krishnan's voice again. God, I'm still here!

I'm only 29; I have a family, two young daughters, a wife, a job. Maybe I misunderstood him?

I looked up into his capacious eyes. I knew in that exact moment, when our eyes met, that he was right. This was no joke and sadly nor was it a dream. I was in for the fight of my life.

He rambled off the formal name for my diagnosis, "Acute M2 Type Leukemia, there is no cure known for this disease. My ears heard DEATH.

I chose to write this book for many special reasons, as I believe that I truly did walk with God, and he showed me a glimpse of what was to come when we do ultimately leave our journey we call life. Even greater than that, he showed me, and those closest to me, so many different facets of life and the love that transcends all earthly and spiritual levels.

I feel it is my honor to share with you the amazing journey that started with an incurable illness that seemed to shoot down all of my hopes and dreams bringing my body and soul through the actual moments of death, the experience of being on the other side, the Miracle of my recovery and survival in a way for the reader to feel as though they walked with me every step of the way.

Every doctor that looked into my case, would inevitably come to the same conclusion as those before. Since they could not find a bone marrow match in my family, and the chemo along with all of the other drugs didn't seem to be helping. My body continued to deteriorate at such a rapid pace. My body was literally just a shell.

Dr. Krishnan, told my family that there was nothing more they could do, so they needed to prepare themselves for the fact that I would ultimately die. Most likely I wouldn't make it through the night. So my family, friends, and our church Pastor came to my bedside to pray that day.

So here I sit, 25 years later, with a Clean Slate telling you that miracles do happen.

They happen every day.

If I could impart upon you one thing, one lesson that my journey and my survival has taught me... is that fear has no place in a heart that has hope.

Hope...is Fears worst enemy.